Danderpuffe - A Questionable Creature of Dubious Parentage

It has been suggested, in the most scurrilous of manner, that Danderpuffe is a Parramelion. However, Captain Kurdle with birth certification to hand, remains assured it is entirely a Parraguana...

In the purchase of Danderpuffe’s it was expressed in forceful terms by the pet shop owner that he had it on good authority directly from a Vet, that ‘His Mamma is Parrot - His Daddy is Iguana. So he is Parraguana…’

Danderpuff, the threadbare and scrawny creature, let out a shrieking squawk followed by a torrent of expletives, hissing with hostility at anyone who dared approach Captain Kurdle. It clung tenaciously to his shoulders with long, sharp, and twisting claws, considering the Captain a particularly useful mobile perch and a reliable source of tasty lice, which it foraged for in his greasy beard and lank hair. Cantankerous and vain, it fluffed and fumed at its receding feathers, revealing a leathery, wrinkled, scrotum-like skin. Easily riled, jealous, and quick to anger, it would froth with spittle, hawk up bitter phlegms from the depths around its beak, and send forth a blistering stream of curses and oaths, laden with snot.

Kurdle, however, doted on the creature, oblivious to its thinning feathers, scaly skin, and insufferable shrieking. He noted that it was loyal to him, doggedly so, entirely inseparable and devoted to his protection and safety. When drunk, it would tease out a tress of Kurdle's long hair, wrap it around its neck like a boa, and perform strange and tropical dances on his shoulder, its bandy legs and receding plumage revealing a mange-ridden, puckered skin. A vicious fluster of spittle and threadbare feather, insufferably vain and entirely convinced of its own importance, Danderpuff was a peculiar companion to the Captain.